Death

I find myself thinking of death more now that I have kids.  A friend recently shared a link to this blog.  This mama is currently expecting her third child, a boy, and her husband died in a freak accident a couple of weeks ago.  I just can't shake her story. 

Dustin is on a roof right now in the freezing rain.  I worry about him at work, but don't let it get to me.  I just texted him "I love you".  He text back, "Love u too u ok?"  I knew it would probably freak him out getting that random text.  Not that I would text him that I loved him, but the fact that I didn't have anything else to say.  Usually our texting would be something like "how about something with hamburger for supper.  Love you". 

As much as my husband drives me nuts, I would in no way want to live without him.  The thought scares the shit out of me.  Every time I hear sirens and Dustin isn't home I call or text him to make sure he's okay.  It drives him crazy.

Pregnancy brings out my morbid side (not currently pregnant).  When I was pregnant with Karson and driving back and forth to Cedar Falls everyday, I remember calling Dustin and telling him that if I got in an accident to have them cut the baby out and worry about me later.  I also think more about weird crazy freak accidents.  Like slipping and falling down the stairs or slipping in the shower. 

Being a mom makes you more protective about everything.  I work in my office alone a lot.  I have run through many scenarios of what-ifs.  My scissors are with-in reach whenever a man comes in the office and I'm by myself.  I've also learned to take phone messages differently.  If someone calls and asks for one of the guys in the office I always say they are unavailable instead of they're not here.  I try not to put out the girl-alone-in-fairly-secluded-office beacon.  I'm a freak I know, but I've got babies that need their mother and I most definitely want to see my grandbabies someday!

I've also put more effort into making memories for my kids.  Taking pictures of little activities they do with Dustin.  Taking some videos with my voice in them.  If something were to happen to Dustin or me, I want my kids to have something, anything that helps them to remember me.  Even if it's something as small as me telling Karson to leave Kamden alone on a silly little video of them dancing during Glee.

Whenever I have these feelings of gloom and doom I pray.  When I wake up in the middle of the night after a horrible dream involving someone getting hurt, dying, etc.  I pray.  When in doubt I pray.  I know everything happens for a reason and that God has a plan for us.

Hmm...Not exactly where I was going with this post, but I'm leaving it as it came out.

Point being, other people's tragedies make you appreciate what you have.  I'll be giving my family extra squeezes tonight.  Will you?

How come Mom's have to do everything?

You don't really have to answer that. 

This week's been rough. 

Karson was sick (puking - gross) on Sunday.  Wednesday morning I woke up and puked, but proceeded to go to work telling Dustin he was in charge when he got home.  I felt like death.

He didn't get home until after 6:30, then he ran off to Floyd to pick up a check.  The least he could do was take one of the kids, but wouldn't.  I gave some serious thought to going up to bed and letting the kids hang out by themselves downstairs.  Then, when he finally got home he let the kids trash the house and didn't put them in bed till after 9.  Even then he didn't really know what he was doing.  I was so MAD.  In his defense, he probably could have handled bedtime just fine.  I was just so wound up and snippy, I jumped in and got the kids night diapers and jammies figured out for him.  If Kamden doesn't wear certain diapers to bed they leak and I was NOT getting up in the middle of the night to change sheets and jammies.

Lucky for Dustin, I woke up feeling fine on Thursday and got everything and everyone pretty much back to normal.  There may be a vacation or night away in my very near future so dear-ole-Dad can get in on the action.  It just seems like he's never home anymore so I'm used to doing it all.

Enough about that. 

The Christmas shopping is coming along nicely.  I'd day I'm at least half way done.  The tree didn't get put up last weekend, but I've got high-hopes for this weekend.  We've got a lot going on, but may be able to fit it in.

Going to an open house with Grandma Jane Saturday morning.  Getting together at my mom and dad's Saturday night, and Chyma Thanksgiving in Marshalltown on Sunday.  On second thought the tree may not get put up until Monday...

Christmas is getting to close for comfort

I thought for sure I'd have more Christmas shopping done by now!!!  I know what my kids still need, but haven't started on anyone else on my list.  At this point in time my list consists of the peoples names that I need to buy a gift for.  That's it.  Sunday afternoon I may have to leave the boys home with Dustin and go do some shopping!

When do you put your Christmas Tree up?  This weekend ours may go up.  Every year I put it off and it doesn't get taken care of until way to close to Christmas.  Last year I bought the bulbs I wanted for half price, but I don't remember if I bought lights and a skirt as well.  One of the last couple of years we put lights on our tree and that was it.  Karson was getting into everything so we said forget it and let it go.  Now, he is getting old enough that I really, really want to make Christmas special for him.  The tradition's have to start now!

Dustin made fun of me 2 years ago when we were buying new stockings as a family of three.  Being smart I wanted to buy 5.  They only had 4 coordinating of the ones I wanted, so we got 4.  Dustin said I was crazy.  By the next Christmas we had Kamden and needed all 4 (he's see's my genius now).  Currently, I'm kicking myself for not finding that fifth stocking!  No, I'm not pregnant.  Whenever we have our next child, say in 2 to 4 years, I'm going to have to buy all new stocking so they match.  Maybe I'll start looking for a really similar one now.  Hey, maybe I'll get lucky and find another of the same kind!  Yay, I just added an actual item to my list!

Halloween Hangover

The Halloween party went great!  We won the costume contest!

 The kids had fun trick or treating.  Kamden wouldn't sit still.

Grandma had awesome goodies waiting for the boys.

I think we are mostly recovered from the weekend.  Karson managed to pull a cap/crown off his tooth with some Halloween candy so we had to run to the dentist yesterday.  Luckily they were able to just glue it back on.  He did awesome in the dentist chair and got to wear some cool sunglasses.  They also took and x-ray of his front tooth that has gone grey.  Said it looked fine and we just need to watch it. 

I had a good birthday yesterday and am exited for some friends to come over tonight for a make-your-own-pizza party.  I have a recipe for beer-bread pizza crust, but it makes a ton, like 6 large pizza's.  So I thought I'd invite some friends over and let the kids do their thing and the adults do theirs.  I hope it all turns out the way I hope...